yesterday on tv i saw a man win a running race at the Olympics, with a slower time than someone else had won the race some years previous. he was extremely proud that he had won, and showed his extreme pride in two ways:

first, he ripped his nametag off of his uniform and ran around holding it up for the world to see. the name he is so proud of originated from the family that had enslaved his ancestors.

second, he ran around wrapped in the flag of the nation he resides in. the flag he is so proud of represents a nation that has never stopped oppressing and murdering people of his racial background.

the man’s show of pride was far more interesting than the race, in my opinion.

1. the awful, awful, AWFUL theme. the theme is run-away-screaming bad, and FOX plays it over and over and over again ad nauseam. rather than getting rid of it, FOX will always double down on it. the theme is reason enough not to watch FOX nfl… but wait, there’s lots more.

2. the affected pregame team. their phony tv personalities, their rehearsed smiles and laughter, their bullshit we-are-all-great-friends personas. howie long is the least affected, but even he-of-the-great-haircut is not immune.

3. the entire paper-thin pregame show. har-de-har-har and crying laughing, then cut to yet another skit, then more laughter and jokes, then a movie trailer, then more har-de-har-har, then yet another skit. i wanna see nfl news, FOX keeps showing bad nfl comedy.

4. overly commercial. yes, all of the nfl networks are overly commercial, but FOX is OVERLY overly commercial. that full-screen ad-serving robot, the constant product placement, the running of movie trailers during the paper-thin pregame show, the always-there big-ass pickup truck ad, and lots more, all while playing that scream-into-the-night shitty theme.

5. the inability to show correct game stats. FOX cannot consistently display the correct down, the correct number of yards, the correct time, the correct quarter, even the correct score. amateur 3 hours.

6. plastering full-screen cartoon caricatures on the screen whenever a team scores. yeah, good idea, block the scoring team celebration with more nightmare-fuel FOX animation.

7. it is the 21st century, yet whenever FOX shows a scroll at the bottom of the screen, all the players get short and fat. to this day, FOX has not figured out how to maintain aspect ratio when running a scroll. DAMN UNBELIEVABLE.

8. the game announcers… i will be kind and stop here.

VERY easy call to skip the FOX super bowl.